I have been having sleepless nights recently cos I have been having my cough again and feeliong breathless. Sometimes pain at chest area too. I know this time there is something not right although my last check was ok. But I am not going for any surgery cos it is very painful and it will cost a bomb. The insurance company has already put in papers that they will not pay for any illness that has something to do with diabetics. And also, how many more years do they guarantee after the surgery. I DO NOT want to live that long anyway cos if I am sickly, I will bring alot of inconvenience to my family.
My children seem to be able to take care of themselves. They do not heed my advise anymore. And I think I am begining to be a naggy. I often remind my eldest girl to keep her room tidy, come home early and contribute some help around the house. Each time she cooks something, she will mess up the kitchen. My second one will help to clean up the house as and when she is in the mood and when she does, she will be complaining about her eldest sister. But she fail to realise that she also leave her things around sometimes which result in an arguement most times and me getting frustrated and upset at the same time. And my son, he is in the food line and uses my kitchen often. Each time he cooks, I will get very very upset cos, he will leave it in a massive mess. I get so upset that I could not breath. I even cried out of frustration. He will clean the pots and pans but not properly leaving smell of butter/some sauce cooked with cheese or stew lamb WHICH I DREAD. He will leave bits of veggie/cream and even bread crumbs in the fridge. Plates and glasses used are not properly placed back into the cupboards AND SO ON AND ON AND ON.
Their dad often leave our toilet bowl and the basin dirty. I have to clean it cos I cannot stand it. He will leave the cups all over the kitchen table, his diaries/newspapers everywhere in the hall. He has got about 4 - 5 office bags all over the hall. Oh yes, I do keep them in place once in a while but I got fed-up with it cos the place will look tidy but only for 2 weeks max. Everybody knows how to take towels and bed sheets from my cupboard but never know how to put it back. The 2 girls will NEVER fold the clean laundry. It is mostly done by their father or me and sometimes the brother.
My mistake is, I do everything for them when they were small and when I was much younger. And I had a maid for 2 years. I am not that old now but it is my heart which cannot take all these. When I wash the toilet, I could hardly breath afterwards. Or even when I squat to take a pot or pick some onions or wash the table cloth I feel so tired and breathless. I feel so useless. It is so frustrating when I compare what I can do now and before. I could rearrange the whole house furniture by myself in a day but now, I could not even change my own bedsheet. Sometimes I have to beg or get angry for my sheets to be changed.
The good thing about my children is they are not involved in drugs. That is the only consolation. They always feel that I am domineering. I feel that if I don't tell them, I am not doing my duty but when I tell, they feel I nag too much. The thing is: when I say one time, they NEVER listen. Well, I always say this, probably they will appreciate what I have done and said to them when I am gone.
This may just be a coincidence. I have dreaming about the dead quite often these days. Probably I will meet them soon. My mom died at about the same age as I am now. I am not afraid to go cos I have a lot of friends up there too.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
AWAY FROM HOME
It is almost 4 months since I have been away from home. I am glad that I manage to visit some places. Spend all my money but at least I get to see some friends. Go back home - have to eat porridge every day. Luckily Wen gave me some pocket money for babysitting.
Today Wen and I did some packing. I came with 2 bags and going home with 5 bags and shipping a big box of mine and baby's old clothings. Bought a lot of clothings for myself and my family and some souveniours for my friends. And I also bought a buggy wheelchair. Sound absurb but I bought it for several reasons. First of all, we might not have the buggy type in Malaysia, secondly, I am the youngest in the family and there are other older brothers, sisters, sis-in-laws and bros-in-laws. As age catches up, a lot of uninvited friends will come finding us. So I think it will come in handy. And most importantly, my legs are failing me. Each time I walk fast or a slight twist, it hurts a lot. So tell me if I am wrong to purchase the wheelchair for future use.
Got two astonishing news just couple of weeks ago. My ex-colleague, very sweet young lady, just had a baby told me that she is getting a divorce. And another of my close friend who is married for the past 30 years, had 3 beautiful kids. Eldest girl - 28, just had a 9 lbs baby, Second boy - 26 and the youngest being only11, broke the news to me that her hubby is involved with a 22 year old china girl. He told her that he cannot leave the woman because she was a virgin before he slept with her. Has given my friend an alternative to either let him keep her or divorce him. Up to date, I still do not believe that he would do such a stupid thing because he adores his kids. I am still praying that he is doing this for a special reason. I know my friend is going thru hell and I regret not being there for her when she needed me most.
These few months have made me realise true love. Well, I must say that it has indeed made me a smarter person.
Sure am looking forward to go home. Especially the food is still the best in Malaysia.
I always say this prayer. May the GOD ALMIGHTY / GODDESS OF MERCY / ALLAH bless and keep harmony in the world.
Today Wen and I did some packing. I came with 2 bags and going home with 5 bags and shipping a big box of mine and baby's old clothings. Bought a lot of clothings for myself and my family and some souveniours for my friends. And I also bought a buggy wheelchair. Sound absurb but I bought it for several reasons. First of all, we might not have the buggy type in Malaysia, secondly, I am the youngest in the family and there are other older brothers, sisters, sis-in-laws and bros-in-laws. As age catches up, a lot of uninvited friends will come finding us. So I think it will come in handy. And most importantly, my legs are failing me. Each time I walk fast or a slight twist, it hurts a lot. So tell me if I am wrong to purchase the wheelchair for future use.
Got two astonishing news just couple of weeks ago. My ex-colleague, very sweet young lady, just had a baby told me that she is getting a divorce. And another of my close friend who is married for the past 30 years, had 3 beautiful kids. Eldest girl - 28, just had a 9 lbs baby, Second boy - 26 and the youngest being only11, broke the news to me that her hubby is involved with a 22 year old china girl. He told her that he cannot leave the woman because she was a virgin before he slept with her. Has given my friend an alternative to either let him keep her or divorce him. Up to date, I still do not believe that he would do such a stupid thing because he adores his kids. I am still praying that he is doing this for a special reason. I know my friend is going thru hell and I regret not being there for her when she needed me most.
These few months have made me realise true love. Well, I must say that it has indeed made me a smarter person.
Sure am looking forward to go home. Especially the food is still the best in Malaysia.
I always say this prayer. May the GOD ALMIGHTY / GODDESS OF MERCY / ALLAH bless and keep harmony in the world.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Trip to Chicago
So nice of my godson's parents (Lyn and Seng) to arrange to take me to Chicago. At first I was worried of the long journey by coach cos my legs will swell but the parents kept assuring me that they will stop every 2 hours for us to go for a pee and stretch ourselves. Tickets all booked and paid............no turning back.
Took Lyn days to finish buying and packing the stuff for the trip. The food items are more than our luggage. There were fruits, cakes, sweets, peanuts, kuachi, biscuits, 20 boxes of cup mee and 3 tubs of 5 lit water. But it was smart thinking and worth in spite of all the carrying off and on the bus.
Been in NY the whole week, there was no rain but on the morning of our trip, it rained. So we had to call for a cab. Good thing cos 3 of us had to carry about 7 bags (big and small) excluding our handbags. And carrying it up the subway station is no joke....errrrr for me. Altho both of them are ever so nice to hand me the lightest of the whole lot.
When I first went into the bus, I slipped and hit my leg against the foot rest. It was very painful (imagine my bone against the steel bar) and a pc of flesh actually came off. I only get to put a plaster after I reach the hotel.
I sat in the middle section of the bus and the bus stinks with urine smell. Obviously I was not the only one who smell it. I sounded to the tourist guide, John and he said that he would do something about it. Anyway, he did not get rid of the smell and I suppose we all got use to the smell after a while.
The journey started of with John telling us where we will stop to pee and stretch. I was not able to understand him properly cos he could not speak english well. So for two hours, there was complete silence in the bus where most of us were sleeping cos we woke up really early. Our first stop was 'The Frog City' . We all had to line up, switch off all out mobile phones to pass through the security check at the entrance. When I went in I thought we were going into a court house. Then John show us a picture of a big frog on the floor. It was made of tiles and guarded by a lady guard. That was what we all lined up through strict security for.
I am glad we went by coach otherwise we will not be able to see all the towns in between New York and Chicago. I remembered Ohio, Detriot, Cleveland, Illinois, Indiana, Toledo, Pittsburgh, Michigan. Might have miss some in between cos I was sleeping most of the way. Went to Holland and German Village too. Went to see Henry Ford Museum - Vintage Cars Exhibit. Beautiful. All the old vehicles - from bicycles to planes. Then we went to see the new porch cars. Oh! and Christmas Wonderland in Frankenmuth..............my goodness the place is soooooooooooooo big and they sell only x'mas decorative items and there must be trillions of them. We were there for about and hour but I hardly had enough time to go through 3 rows of the deco items. Sad to say tho, 99% of the things are made in China.
Went for a cruise just round and round the same spot and had dinner on board. I only had salad cos most of the food is not to my liking. ( I do not take lamb or steak or anything cooked in cheese). Had lunch in china town in Chicago. The best lunch or meal for the whole trip ......... well for me. Most of the lunches are either Macdonald or Kfc. We were told that we'd probably have that again for dinner so while at china town, we bought some roast duck and ribs. Stoped by a rest area for dinner and we had ours in the park. Then when we reach the hotel, we had cup mee.
The best place we went was a park in Chicago. There was a large group of people there doing exercises and we all followed including John. It was fun.
On the way back there was more fun in the coach cos we all started telling jokes and singing songs. We were all more relaxed with each other and all of us were having so much fun. I think that should be the way to start the journey. But then everybody was so shy. The journey back seem so much shorter.
On the whole, I am glad I went for the trip. Tks again to Lyn and Seng ko.
Took Lyn days to finish buying and packing the stuff for the trip. The food items are more than our luggage. There were fruits, cakes, sweets, peanuts, kuachi, biscuits, 20 boxes of cup mee and 3 tubs of 5 lit water. But it was smart thinking and worth in spite of all the carrying off and on the bus.
Been in NY the whole week, there was no rain but on the morning of our trip, it rained. So we had to call for a cab. Good thing cos 3 of us had to carry about 7 bags (big and small) excluding our handbags. And carrying it up the subway station is no joke....errrrr for me. Altho both of them are ever so nice to hand me the lightest of the whole lot.
When I first went into the bus, I slipped and hit my leg against the foot rest. It was very painful (imagine my bone against the steel bar) and a pc of flesh actually came off. I only get to put a plaster after I reach the hotel.
I sat in the middle section of the bus and the bus stinks with urine smell. Obviously I was not the only one who smell it. I sounded to the tourist guide, John and he said that he would do something about it. Anyway, he did not get rid of the smell and I suppose we all got use to the smell after a while.
The journey started of with John telling us where we will stop to pee and stretch. I was not able to understand him properly cos he could not speak english well. So for two hours, there was complete silence in the bus where most of us were sleeping cos we woke up really early. Our first stop was 'The Frog City' . We all had to line up, switch off all out mobile phones to pass through the security check at the entrance. When I went in I thought we were going into a court house. Then John show us a picture of a big frog on the floor. It was made of tiles and guarded by a lady guard. That was what we all lined up through strict security for.
I am glad we went by coach otherwise we will not be able to see all the towns in between New York and Chicago. I remembered Ohio, Detriot, Cleveland, Illinois, Indiana, Toledo, Pittsburgh, Michigan. Might have miss some in between cos I was sleeping most of the way. Went to Holland and German Village too. Went to see Henry Ford Museum - Vintage Cars Exhibit. Beautiful. All the old vehicles - from bicycles to planes. Then we went to see the new porch cars. Oh! and Christmas Wonderland in Frankenmuth..............my goodness the place is soooooooooooooo big and they sell only x'mas decorative items and there must be trillions of them. We were there for about and hour but I hardly had enough time to go through 3 rows of the deco items. Sad to say tho, 99% of the things are made in China.
Went for a cruise just round and round the same spot and had dinner on board. I only had salad cos most of the food is not to my liking. ( I do not take lamb or steak or anything cooked in cheese). Had lunch in china town in Chicago. The best lunch or meal for the whole trip ......... well for me. Most of the lunches are either Macdonald or Kfc. We were told that we'd probably have that again for dinner so while at china town, we bought some roast duck and ribs. Stoped by a rest area for dinner and we had ours in the park. Then when we reach the hotel, we had cup mee.
The best place we went was a park in Chicago. There was a large group of people there doing exercises and we all followed including John. It was fun.
On the way back there was more fun in the coach cos we all started telling jokes and singing songs. We were all more relaxed with each other and all of us were having so much fun. I think that should be the way to start the journey. But then everybody was so shy. The journey back seem so much shorter.
On the whole, I am glad I went for the trip. Tks again to Lyn and Seng ko.
Friday, August 15, 2008
Rain
Went to The Big Apple (New York) for 2 weeks to visit my godson Jason and family. Not very familiar with the parents. Just had a few dinners with them for the past few years. The whole family are very hospitable. Will elaborate more in my next post. Must tell this joke before I forget.
Jason's parents took me for a trip by bus to Chicago. It wud have been a very long and boring trip if he did not sit next to me and tell me jokes. And this is one of them.
He told me when he first came to the states about 20 years ago, he went to china town and it was raining. He heard a chinese woman shouting - 'Ti Li Ta La' - Ti LiTa La'. He thought that she was shouting to everyone that it is raining but as he approach nearer to her, he noticed that she had a lot of umbrellas with her and still shouting 'Ti Li Ta La' - Ti Li Ta La'. He stood there for a while and still wondering why she is shouting those words. AND found out later when someone went to buy am unbrella and paid the woman - THREE DOLLARS.
Jason's parents took me for a trip by bus to Chicago. It wud have been a very long and boring trip if he did not sit next to me and tell me jokes. And this is one of them.
He told me when he first came to the states about 20 years ago, he went to china town and it was raining. He heard a chinese woman shouting - 'Ti Li Ta La' - Ti LiTa La'. He thought that she was shouting to everyone that it is raining but as he approach nearer to her, he noticed that she had a lot of umbrellas with her and still shouting 'Ti Li Ta La' - Ti Li Ta La'. He stood there for a while and still wondering why she is shouting those words. AND found out later when someone went to buy am unbrella and paid the woman - THREE DOLLARS.
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